Between Heartbeats
by danceswithhorses
Summary: Bella and the Cullens are finally looking forward to a wedding and a happily ever after...but an accident changes their lives forever. I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY ASSOCIATED CHARACTERS!
1. Chapter 1

**I'm working on some plot issues with Broken, but the next update should be no later than tomorrow. So here's the prologue of my next story - Between Heartbeats. Let me know what you think please!**

**Bella's POV:**

The possibility of dying never even crossed my mind that day.

I wasn't thinking about anything in particular. I was glad to be finished with Jessica's latest shopping excursion, though I had enjoyed Angela's company. I'm pretty sure I was thinking about what I was going to fix for Charlie's supper. Dying was the farthest thing from my mind.

It all happened quickly at first. The deer jumped across the road. I slammed on the brakes and my truck began to skid. I would have been okay if the grass on the side of the road hadn't been wet. I might have been all right even then, if it hadn't been for that steep embankment.

That's when things slowed down – everything, including my heart. Every beat pulsed through my brain. Time ceased to exist.

_Thud._

It all happened in seconds – the seconds between heartbeats.

I saw the windshield erupt into a delicate web of cracks, each tiny detail registering in my brain.

_Thud._

A leaf, pinned between the ground and the window for a split second. I could see every vein that webbed across its diamond shape with crystal clarity. The sharpest shade of green…

_Thud._

_I'm sorry I've been a brat, Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't reply to your email earlier, Mom, I'm sorry I've been difficult, Edward, I'm sorry I haven't said I love you nearly enough, I do love you, all of you…_

_Thud._

My world exploded into a thousand multicolored shards. Darkness mixed with light, overtaking it. Something dark and red obscured my vision, and then…nothing.

_Thud._


	2. Chapter 2

**I forgot to say this before, but this story takes place after Eclipse and before Breaking Dawn.**

**One hour earlier:**

**Alice's POV:**

Jasper growled playfully at me before springing, pinning me to the ground ever so gently. I laughed as he kissed me relentlessly, eyes, lips, nose, chin.

"Hey, get a room, you two!" Emmett yelled in a disgusted tone.

I ignored him.

On a sunny stretch of beach, in a secluded area of the Bahamas, time didn't exist. We didn't have to hide here – there was no one to see us. For a whole week, with the exceptions of Carlisle and Bella, our family was doing nothing but relaxing in the sun.

Esme flicked us an indulgent glance, and I knew she was wishing Carlisle had been able to come with us. But he hadn't been able to get away from the hospital, and _someone _had to stay behind and keep Bella out of trouble.

Edward came running past and knocked Jasper off of me, and my husband then proceeded to tear out after him. I exchanged glances with Esme as they began to wrestle, growling and snapping at each other.

She shrugged and rolled her eyes, motioning me over. I stretched out next to her, enjoying the feel of the hot sun on my sparkly skin.

Emmett was in the water, looking for a great white shark to wrestle with, and Rosalie was combing the beach for shells. I could stay here forever – the only downside was no shopping malls, no designer clothing stores…nah. This was great, but I couldn't live here.

Jasper came back and flopped down beside me, panting for breath he didn't need. "Now," he said, "where were we?"

I was about to answer him when suddenly my vision began to blank out.

_Bella, waving goodbye to Jessica and Angela, got out and went to her truck. Humming one of her favorite songs, she backed out of Jessica's drive, turning towards Charlie's house._

_The highway was mostly deserted, water still puddling in places from the recent rain. _

_The deer tore out of the woods and leaped across the woods right in front of Bella's truck. It hesitated for a split second, its frightened eyes mirroring Bella's expression. She slammed on the brakes, instinctively wrenching the wheel to the right. _

_The tires began to skid, and the truck slid off the road and over a steep embankment. It rolled four times before finally coming to a stop, upside down. _

_Bella's face was visible through the totaled windshield. Blood trickled down over her eyes, and she wasn't moving._

_Her arm was flung out to the side, easily revealing the face of the watch she wore. The digital numbers read 5:08._

"What, Alice, what did you see?" Jasper asked urgently, no doubt reading my horrified expression.

"What time is it?" I screamed at him, ignoring the others clustered around me. "What time is it back home?"

He looked at his watch and figured up the distance between time zones. "It's…3:59 in Washington," he finally said.

"Call Carlisle," I choked. "Hurry. Bella's going to wreck her truck coming home from Jessica's house at 5:08."

"We can't call Bella," Emmett realized. "Her phone broke, remember? She was going to get a new one tomorrow."

Esme whipped out her cell and hit speed dial. We waited as interminable moments went by. Precious moments. Bella's life was literally ticking away.

She left a frantic message and then dialed again.

"He must have turned his phone off," she growled, and then sweet, gentle Esme did something I'd never seen her do before. She spat out a curse, low and scathing.

"He always has his phone on," I cried frantically.

"He must have done it in the hospital." Edward's voice jerked me out of my thoughts. If I was going through this, what must he be feeling? Bella was his soul mate. If she were to die…"

"She's not going to die," Edward snapped at me. "Don't even think it. Rosalie, Esme, go pack our things. We're leaving just as soon as we can get ready. Someone keep trying Carlisle."

He didn't say it, but we were all thinking it.

There was no way we would ever make it in time.

**Carlisle's POV:**

It took me longer to wrap my shift up at the hospital than it normally did. The clock in my Mercedes read 5:15 by the time I pulled out the parking lot and headed towards Bella's house.

Her phone had met with an unfortunate end after she dropped it, shattering into a million pieces. She was supposed to pick a new one up tomorrow, and Edward had asked me to check on her every now and then.

I knew she'd gone shopping with her friends in Port Angeles, so I wasn't sure if she'd be home yet or not.

I decided not to worry about calling Charlie's house. He wasn't home – fishing with Harry, I think Bella said – so I would just drop by and see how her day went. I knew she was missing Edward as much as I was missing Esme. They hadn't even been gone two days and I was ready for them to come home.

I was nearly half-way there when I smelled it.

It was masked by the annoying odors of exhaust and diesel fumes, but it was there. And the farther I got down the road, the stronger it got.

Bella's blood hung heavy in the air, a scent I was more than used to and would never forget.

I pulled over on the side of the road and jumped out. Not two steps in front of the car, I saw the skid marks.

Fearing the worst now, I looked over the side of the embankment only to see a sight I would never forget, no matter how long I lived after this day.

Bella's ancient monster of a truck was twisted awkwardly around a tree at the bottom, upside down and completely totally. I heard her heart beating as I slid down the rocky slope. It was faint and erratic, but it was beating.

I jerked out my phone to call nine-one-one, and to my horror it was turned off. I had thirty-seven missed calls from various members of my family, and realization hit me in the gut like a sledgehammer. Alice must have seen it happen. She must have been frantic to warn me. And…I'd…had….my…stupid…phone…_turned off._

I dialed the emergency number before kneeling next to the smashed-in driver's side. How long had she been here? Five minutes? Eight minutes? Ten? Was it already too late?

Sticky, not-yet-dry blood crusted her forehead and ran down her cheeks. I ripped the door off so I could get to her. It was dangerous to move her before I knew what her injuries were, I knew that.

She didn't stir at all as I checked her neck and spine the best I could. When I was fairly certain she was okay there, though I couldn't tell for sure, I gently lifted her crumpled body out and laid it on the grass.

"Bella," I tried, softly patting her cheek. "Bella, sweetheart…"

She gave no indication of coming around. With an effort I pushed aside the father and gave voice to the doctor, two natures warring inside me.

With clinical detachment I scanned her body for injuries as the first sirens began to wail above me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Carlisle's POV:**

My phone was ringing off the hook but I couldn't answer it. Hating myself all over again, I turned it off. Bella's life hung in the balance. My complete attention had to be on her.

She crashed twice on the way to the hospital. We revived her, but she clung to life by a thread, fighting for every heartbeat. Why had I turned my phone off earlier? I could have saved my little girl all this…

She had a broken ankle and probably a few ribs, but our main concern was her head. The trauma team had to shave off all her beautiful hair to get to the large gash – probably caused by a flying piece of windshield. She'd hit it hard on the steering wheel, and this was our biggest concern. She still hadn't awakened.

Through all this, the words _brain damage _kept running through my mind, and I would cut them off before they got any farther. I couldn't handle that thought right now. She would just have to be all right.

When we finally got her as stabilized as possible and set up in the CCU, I braced myself for what I had to do next – call my family.

"Carlisle!" Alice's voice was high with a mixture of fear and relief. "Carlisle," and her voice broke because she suddenly knew what I knew.

I heard Edward next. "Carlisle, what's the news?"  
I sighed heavily. "Alice saw her wreck?"  
"Yes." The one word was tense and loaded with barely concealed fear. "Now tell me what's going on."

"She's stable…for now. We have her in CCU here at the hospital. Fractured ankle, a few ribs, nothing major there. But her head…she's still unconscious, Edward. We nearly lost her twice on the way to the hospital."

He sucked in a breath that he didn't need. "We're on our way. We'll be home by tomorrow night."

"Edward, I -"

"Not now, Carlisle. I can't…I just can't right now."

I stared at the dead phone in disbelief as the full weight of my guilt settled heavily on my shoulders.

**Esme's POV:**

Dawn broke outside, shining gloriously in a rare moment of sunshine.

But there was no one outside to appreciate it.

We were all clustered in the tiny waiting room just a few doors away from where Bella lay fighting for her life. Charlie paced up and down, up and down. Renee and Phil were on their way from Florida. Emmett just sat there, staring into space, Rosalie perched stiffly beside him. Alice was here, but Jasper had been unable to stand it. The whole emotionally-charged atmosphere was too much for him. Carlisle was still with Bella. And Edward…Edward didn't move from his silent vigil next to the door.

"Charlie, can I get you something? Coffee, maybe?" I finally offered, when his pacing threatened to drive me crazy.

He took the hint and fell into a chair. "No, thank you, Esme."

He'd no sooner relaxed when Carlisle appeared in the doorway. Instantly Charlie sprang up and Carlisle was surrounded. "One at a time, please," he said, raising his hands, and we all instantly quieted.

He turned to Charlie first. "She's alive."

Charlie and my children all deflated in relief, but I kept my eyes on Carlisle's face. His eyes told me the worst was yet to come.

"She has a broken ankle and few fractured ribs. A little internal bleeding, but we were able to stop that fairly quickly. Her head, on the other hand…she hit it very hard, and she's still unconscious."

"Could she…die?" Edward asked, his voice low and tormented.

Carlisle hesitated.

"_Could she die, Carlisle?" _he demanded, and only I who knew Edward so well could detect the trace of anger and resentment in his voice. With sickening shock I realized he blamed Carlisle for this. He blamed him for not having his phone on and preventing this whole mess.

He must have heard my accusation in his thoughts, but he gave no indication as he kept his attention fixed on his father.

The pause stretched on and on. Even Rosalie was waiting to hear the words. Emmett clutched her hand, his face agonized at the thought of losing his little human sister. And Charlie…Charlie just looked old.

"Yes," Carlisle said finally, defeat etched on his face. "She could very easily die. The next twelve hours are critical."

The silence in the room was deafening, and I closed my eyes and wished I could cry.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alice's POV:**

I can't see her future anymore. After the accident, I searched so hard my head began to hurt. There were only flickers, and then finally even they faded to black.

Bella is dying.

I recite a meaningless poem in my head, keeping my thoughts from Edward. He has enough to deal with for now. Eventually he will have to accept her death – but for now I won't tear the shreds of hope away from him.

It is my foolish wish to hold on to a few for myself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Edward's POV:  
**

It had been four days.

I sat next to her bed, holding her limp hand in mine, doing my best to tune out the harsh noise of the monitors. Their incessant beeping threatened to drown out the sound of her heart.

The doctors and nurses were optimistic and reassuring every time they came in to perform their duties. But I could read their thoughts.

Oh, at first they'd been sincere. But as time wore on, they began to lose hope. Now, after four unresponsive, silent days, they did not believe she would ever wake again. And if she did, brain damage would be significant.

I reached out to touch her chocolate curls before reality intruded – there were no more curls to feel. So I settled for running my finger down her cheek instead.

Desperation grew inside me, fueled by rage and the prospect of eternity without Bella. I picked up her hand, stroking the wedding ring I'd insisted they leave on her finger. Remembering. Remembering all the times she'd begged me to change her, and I'd refused. _After we're married, Bella, _my own voice rang inside my head, mocking me. _After graduation…come on, Bella, you don't want to miss our honeymoon, do you? We've got so much time…_

And now there was no time.

I'd momentarily put aside my anger at Carlisle and asked him about changing her to save her life, when she showed no signs of waking up. But his answer had caught me completely off guard, draining the last dregs of hope from my system.

"_We can't change her, son."_

"_What do you mean?" I demanded. "Of course we can. Venom will cure anything. As long as her heart is beating. Right, Carlisle?"_

_He looked exhausted as he looked across the table at me. The hospital cafeteria was deserted at three a.m., but out of habit he cautioned me to lower my voice. "Not necessarily, son. The mind is a strange enigma. The damage to her brain is already done. The venom…it can't help that. And even if we were to take a chance, her heart isn't strong enough to withstand the shock. The trauma her body has been through is too much. It would stop before the venom even got started."_

_He stopped there, but I could read the rest in his thoughts. "How would we explain that, Edward," he was thinking. "It would not be safe to change her even if we could. People would be bound to wonder and ask."_

"_How dare you," I spat. "How dare you value our secrets more than her life."_

_I left him sitting there and stormed back out to sit with Bella._

The door opened behind me. It was Charlie.

"You need to get some sleep?" I asked without turning around. "I'll stay with her."

"Yeah, I was just coming to tell you I was leaving," he said. "Dr. Cullen said he'd been in to relieve you in a few minutes."

Someone was always with Bella. We kept vigil around the clock, so she was never alone.

I nodded as he came closer to the bed. He looked unshaven and tired and old, and I felt sorry for him.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Bella," he said quietly, touching the hand I wasn't holding. "You hang on, baby. We're all rooting for you."

I heard him choke back a sob as he moved towards the door.

_Hang on, Bella, my love. Please don't leave me. I can't face eternity without you._

The ring's stones glittered in the harsh fluorescent lights, and I held onto it like a promise. She belonged to me.

Death had no right to touch her.


	6. Chapter 6

**I've had a lot of people asking why Carlisle doesn't just change Bella, but for the sake of the story I can't have him do that. There is an explanation in Chapter Five. **

**Charlie's POV:  
**

Usually Carlisle would talk with Bella's neurologist, and then relay the news to us. Somehow we all found it easier to hear coming from him. Maybe because he cared about Bella, too. She wasn't just another number to him.

So when the other doctor called us all into the hospital and into a little private room, I braced myself to hear the worst.

Phil was holding Renee up. Without thinking I reached over and squeezed her hand, but it must have been the right thing to do. She seemed to brace up a little.

The Cullens all sat silently and unmoving as they waited to hear what Dr. Roberts had to say.

"Isabella has slipped into a coma," he began. I wanted to punch him. Bella. She preferred Bella.

"At this point, the prognosis is grim. There's not a lot we can do except wait. And there's not a lot of hope even if she does come out of it. I've seen coma victims wake up months after, but all of them were affected in some way. The human mind is an enigma science has barely been able to touch upon, and we can't explain everything. I'm sorry."

Bella's fiancé spoke up. "Is there anything we can do?"  
Dr. Roberts methodically took off his glasses and began to wipe the lenses. Slowly, he replaced them on his nose before looking him in the eye. "Surround her with the things that she loves," he finally said. "Everything familiar. Talk to her about things you shared. Try and bring her back. That's all we know to do for coma victims."

Esme was crying, hiding her face in her hands as she tried to stifle her sobs. Carlisle moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he murmured in her ear.

We filed back out into the hallway, and Carlisle left his wife in Alice's care long enough to come speak to me. "We need to work out a system," he said quietly. "So that at least one of us is here all the time."

I nodded woodenly. "Can you take care of that?" I asked mechanically. I didn't feel able to.

"Certainly, Chief Swan. I'll let you check it over when I'm done, see if there's anything you want to change."

"Thanks, Dr. Cullen."  
"No problem."

I waited until I was in my squad car and heading back home to let the sobs loose.

**Edward's POV:  
**

I had the night shift from five to midnight.

I'd tried to protest and get a longer time, but Carlisle stopped me with a look. "We love Bella, too," was all he said.

He had no right to sit beside her. Not after what he'd done. But for the rest of my family's sake, I hadn't argued further.

I had come to hospital armed with things I hoped would help her waken. After they'd determined that she was stable, she'd been moved to a regular room. So there was plenty of space to work with.

I set my things down on a table and went to her, brushing a kiss across her closed eyelids and unresponsive lips. "I brought you some things, Bella," I said, keeping my voice light and upbeat.

I plugged in the CD player, keeping the volume on low so I wouldn't disturb anyone, and the soft strains of her lullaby began to float through the room. I'd written the melody especially for her, and she loved it.

Next I pulled the blanket from my bed over her. "Remember this, love? I didn't think you'd ever forgive me for locking you in this room. You were so determined to sleep on the floor to spite me, but when morning came and I returned you were right in the middle of the bed, hugging this to you. We never finished that argument, love, so hurry and wake up."

I paused, but nothing happened. Not so much as a finger twitched.

So I sat down next to her bed and began to reminisce about every happy moment we'd ever shared.

**Alice's POV:**

I had a giant stack of scrapbooks in my arms as I tiptoed into Bella's room. I had the shift after Edward – at midnight, not many people were stirring on this floor.

"Any change?" I asked him quietly, as he reluctantly rose and let me take his place.

A quick shake of his head was my answer. "You need to hunt. I'll call you if anything happens."

"Thank you, Alice," he said wearily, dropping one last kiss on Bella's lips before trudging slowly out of the room.

When he was gone I quit shielding my thoughts. It was tiring, keeping this from him without him knowing I was hiding something.

I opened the first scrapbook, laying it on the bed beside her. "Remember this, Bella?"

It was a picture of her all dressed up for the prom. "You were so mad at first, but it worked out, didn't it? You were so beautiful."

I let my voice trail away as I searched again for her future. Nothing.

At first I'd tried to convince myself that it was because of the coma. But there was no reassurance there, either, because I would've seen her come out of it.

"Don't die," I whispered. "Please don't die, Bella."

**Charlie's POV:**

I got off work early and after a quick dinner and a shower, I headed to the hospital. I couldn't remember whose turn it was to sit with Bella, but I figured I might as well go on down there.

Jacob had shown up and put his name on the list, as well. I knew things weren't friendly between him and the Cullens, but for the moment all grudges seemed to have been laid aside. I never understood their differences, and at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care.

I was grateful to Carlisle for getting the rules bent. Now instead of having to stick to visiting hours, someone could stay with Bella around the clock. Everyone kept up a staunch façade. _She'll wake up, Charlie, it'll just take all of us. She'll be okay. Bella's strong. She's like you, Chief Swan. A fighter. _

On the inside I was beginning to wonder – and I was sure they were. But we kept it up, for each other's benefit. The only thing keeping us all from falling apart.

Bella's school friends were in the waiting room, waiting for their turn to see Bella. I nodded at them. Jessica, Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, Angela Weber, and few others I couldn't name.

"How is she, Chief Swan?" Angela asked quietly, getting up to meet me.

"The same," I replied, finding a slight smile somewhere inside me to offer her. "I'll let you guys see her for a little while in a few minutes, okay?"

"Take your time," Angela said softly, before going back to sit with her boyfriend.

Down the hall, I pushed the door open quietly and stopped.

The largest Cullen boy – Emmett, his name was Emmett – was sitting next to Bella's bed, his back to me. He was talking softly to her, and even though I was normally against eavesdropping, I found myself straining to listen.

"I know I haven't been around much," he said, propping his elbows on his knees. "But I think of you as my little sis, and I hope you know that. The doctor said to surround you with everything you love, so I brought you something."

From beside the chair he produced a massive stuffed bear. It was light brown – the color of milk chocolate and Bella's eyes – and it had a bright blue ribbon tied around its neck. The thing had to be two foot tall.

"Our little inside joke," Emmett chuckled to himself. "You remember, don't you, little sis? Of course you do. So here it is, and when I can't be here, this'll remind you of me. And don't tell Rosalie I said this, but she sends her love, too."

Rosalie was the blond one who kept to herself and seemed kind of arrogant. I thought it was kind of preposterous to think of her sending her love to anybody.

"Well, Bella, I have to go now, your dad will be here soon. So get well, okay?"

Before I could think to move back into the hall, Emmett lumbered up from the chair and turned. He didn't seem surprised to see me. "Afternoon, Chief Swan."

"Emmett," I said back, feeling a wave of sympathy as he walked past me. His eyes were red-rimmed, and there was a look of abject misery on his face.

I stopped him as he started past me. "Uh, Emmett."

"Yes, sir?"

"She loved you. _Loves _you," I corrected myself harshly. "I know she thinks of you as the big brother she never had."

He smiled. "Thanks, Chief Swan."

"Oh, and Emmett, her school friends are in the waiting room. Could you tell them they can come on back?"

"Sure, Chief," he said, and I clapped him on the back as he left the room.

I approached the bed for a little time with Bella before the rest of them came in.

Alice had been here – her scrapbooks were everywhere, opened to pictures of happy times. There was a black bedspread over her – Edward, probably. And Emmett's two-foot-tall bear was propped up next to her head.

I reached in my jacket pocket and pulled out the only thing I had from Arizona – the little cactus in the pot she'd brought with her when she'd moved here. "It's survived, believe it or not," I said to her. "I thought you might like it. A reminder of the sun."

I set it carefully on the bedside table. "So, Bells, you probably had no idea so many people loved you. All of Forks is out there in the waiting room. We need you, baby, so come back to us."

I tugged the blankets more snuggly around her. "I know I'm not much of a dad. I should've been there more, instead of always off on fishing trips and cop business. I guess I left you to yourself most of the time. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I couldn't imagine my life without you now."

Someone knocked softly on the door, and I hastily wiped my eyes before calling, "Come in."

An uncharacteristically-subdued Jessica tiptoed in first, followed by Angela and the others.

I stood back a little bit so they could talk to her, waiting patiently until they left and I was alone with her again.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm not sure how to reply to guest reviews, but to Kimmie: Yes, I tried to keep the characters as true to form as possible. Thanks for reviewing, everybody! If I get ten reviews tonight I'll post as early as tomorrow. **

**Esme's POV:**

I had the three-to-five shift. Charlie had just left, and Carlisle was doing his rounds, but he would be here soon.

Her school friends must have come by earlier. Her bedspread was full of cards and photos, and her side-table was too.

It broke my heart to see her this way, so fragile and pale, with all of her beautiful hair gone. I would give anything to hear her voice again, or feel her throw her arms around me.

"I brought you something, too, Bella," I said quietly, "and I hope you remember it. They say familiar things might help you out of this."

I pulled a bright blue ribbon from my pocket. "You were wearing this the first time I ever saw you. You were so nervous! Meeting your boyfriend's family. But not because we were all vampires. No, not you, Bella. You were afraid we wouldn't like you."

I tied the ribbon around her wrist. "I love you, Bella."

The door opened softly behind me, the sound barely detectable under the constant _swish _and _beep _of the monitors. I knew without turning that it was my beloved.

"No change," Carlisle stated heavily. Over the last few days it had become more of a statement and not a question. We were all beginning to lose hope.

"No," I said quietly.

He took a seat beside me, squeezing my hand. "To think I could have prevented all this," he said, guilt coloring his tone.

I didn't let him get any farther. "Don't beat yourself up, my love! We could all play the what-if game. What if we hadn't gone to the Bahamas for a week? That was my idea, you know. What if Alice had seen that Bella would need a phone earlier? We could have gotten her one, you know. What if Edward had talked Charlie into allowing her to come with us? He could've, you know."

I slid my finger under his chin and turned him towards me, forcing him to meet my gaze. "We could all play the blame game," I said again, more forcefully. "But the thing is, none of us can go back and change it."

"Edward hates me," he said, every word barely audible. Every word holding such pain it hurt me, too.

"Edward is not thinking straight," I said. "His inner pain is blinding him. He's lashing out – that's his way of dealing with it. It's always been his way. Don't take it personally."

"I wouldn't," Carlisle said. "Normally, in every other situation, I wouldn't. But it hurts me so deeply now because…because he's right."

The last words were inaudible to a human ear, but I caught them with no trouble. And they chilled me to the bone.

"He is _not_ right, Carlisle. He knows that, deep inside. And so do you."

He just shook his head and continued to watch the gentle rise and fall of Bella's chest.

**Edward's POV:**

I knew I was in for it the moment I heard Esme's thoughts coming down the hall. I barely had time to brace myself before she stormed into my bedroom, where I was gathering a few more things to take to Bella.

"How dare you," she seethed.

"Esme," I started wearily, but she cut me off. "Don't you get smart with me, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. This is going to end right now."

I set the bag on my bed and turned to look at her.

"It's not his fault, and you know it."

Anger began to boil up inside me. "It _is _his fault, Esme! _Why _didn't he have his phone on?"

Her eyes narrowed. "You could take that game a million different ways. Why blame your father? The man who loves Bella as much as you do. The man who loves _you, _Edward, and would give his own life a thousand times over to see you happy."

I deserved her wrath and loathing – I knew that, deep inside. But I was afraid. If I let go of my anger, what did I have left? Nothing but a deep, abiding grief that would tear me apart. I had to be angry. I had to blame someone.

Esme was still glaring defiantly at me, waiting for my response. I felt myself deflate.

"I'm sorry," I broke down and let her hold me, wrap me in her comforting, motherly arms and soothe me.

Mine was the first façade to crumble – and it certainly would not be the last.

**Jacob's POV:**

I felt awkward, folded up into this little chair in the stark white hospital room. I shifted uncomfortably and reminded myself that this was Bella I was talking to – though the emaciated, bald shadow in the bed hardly resembled the girl I loved.

"Well, Charlie let me go up to your room and get this," I said, after clearing my throat. "He thought it might help a little. Plus I'm kind of selfish. You've got something from just about everybody in this room. I want you to have a piece of me, too."

I carefully hung the dreamcatcher I'd given her for her eighteenth birthday over her head. "I hope, wherever you are, you're happy, Bella. Whether it's with me, or with him, or maybe your life before you ever came to Forks. I just…I just want you to be happy, Bella. That's all I ever really wanted."

I thought back to all the ways I'd made her life miserable since Edward had come back into the picture. I'd even told her I'd rather see her dead than one of them. God, I would give anything to take back those words.

I'd asked Carlisle about changing her. But he'd explained that the brain damage was irreversible, anyway. Not even the changing process would help that. So we were all stuck in some sort of limbo. Waiting for Bella to wake up. Waiting for her to respond in some way. Waiting for her heart to stop beating.

Waiting forever.

"Bella, if you come back, I promise to leave you alone and let you live your life in peace with the one you chose. Just…come back."


	8. Chapter 8

**Renee's POV:**

I found what I was looking for folded up at the foot of Bella's bed.

Charlie was working and Phil was waiting for me at the car. We'd agreed it would be better that way, less awkward for all of us.

I hugged the quilt to my body, remembering all the time I'd spent making it. All our travel t-shirts, from the zany places Bella and I had visited together. The three-headed lobster from Maine, the giant soda can from Texas…the car horn intruded on my thoughts, reminding me that Phil was waiting.

I took another look around Bella's room. It looked basically the same it always had, except there were now evidences that a teenager lived here, instead of a two-year-old. Bells hadn't done anything girly to it – not that I'd expected her to.

Another honk from below sent me reluctantly down the stairs and out of the house I'd once called mine. I didn't miss it. It was too much a reminder of my high-school self. But I didn't regret mine and Charlie's tumultuous marriage – it had resulted in Bella, after all.

I hugged the quilt closer as I joined Phil and we headed to the hospital.

**Jasper's POV:**

I could almost forget, when I was alone in the woods.

The emotions didn't crowd me, overwhelming me with everyone else's shock and grief. Mine were enough to deal with – guilt included.

I loved Bella, too, even if I didn't feel as free to show it. Ever since that disastrous birthday party, I'd kept my distance – afraid of myself, but even more afraid that she would never be able to forgive me.

Despite constant reassurances from both her and my family, I couldn't understand how she _could _forgive me. I'd nearly killed her. I would have killed her, if it hadn't been for Emmett and Alice and Esme. The thought made me shudder.

They'd kept me away from the hospital. I knew the combination of the strong emotional charges and the smell of blood would break me. And then they'd have to explain why I was either curled up on the floor in pain, or wild with bloodlust. So we'd all agreed it was in everybody's best interest if I stayed away.

But I thought of her. All the time, and I hoped I would get a chance to tell her how I felt and ask her forgiveness one more time.

"Jasper?"

My tiny wife crept up behind me and flung her arms around my waist. "They're waiting for you back at the house. We were all worried."

I swung her up in my arms and kissed her, disguising my emotions. "I'm coming, Alice. Sorry."

She linked arms with me and we sauntered back towards the house. I didn't offer to talk and she didn't ask me to.

**Carlisle's POV:**

I waved goodbye to Esme, who was going home to check on Jasper and pretend to get some sleep. Edward would be here any moment now, and I began to brace myself. He made no secret of the fact that he blamed me. I blamed myself.

"Carlisle."

He was standing in the doorway, one arm propped on the doorjamb. "Hello, Edward. Let me check her over and I'll get out of your way."

"Can we talk?"

He sounded strangled, and I met his gaze. "Always, Edward. You know that."

He came farther into the room. "I need to tell you how sorry I am, Dad."

The use of the word surprised me. I could count on one hand the times Edward had used it. It was always Carlisle and occasionally Father.

"You have nothing to apologize for, son," I said quietly. "My carelessness may cost Bella her life. Believe me, no matter what you feel about me, it's nothing compared to what I feel about myself."

"No, I was wrong," he said, steel in his voice. "Esme…she's right, Carlisle. None of us were to blame – it just happened. I was afraid," his voice broke a little. "I was afraid to let go of my anger, because if I didn't have that…I thought the grief would tear me apart."

I looked at my son with new eyes. "We all have our ways of coping, Edward," I told him gently. "Bella's…condition has hit us all hard. Perhaps you hardest of all."

He came to me, and I hugged him, hard enough so he knew there were no ill feelings. "You don't have to deal with this alone, son. Your family will always be there to back you up."

When he pulled away at last, I knew all was right between us again. And while it didn't remove all the guilt, it somehow made it easier to bear.

If Bella died I would have to go through eternity and know it was my fault.

**Two Months Later:**

**Charlie's POV:**

"Well, Bella, your mother's coming for a visit again," I said, tucking the covers around her a little more securely. "I told her she could wait, but she's gonna come anyway. Always was stubborn."

Someone – Carlisle, probably – had opened the drapes. A few fragile rays of Washington sunshine floated into the room and settled on her face. "I miss ya, Bells."

There wasn't much to say. Every day of the last two months had been the same. No movement. No nothing. Bella had always had the habit of muttering in her sleep, but there was nothing but silence now.

I sighed. "I gotta go, Bella. Mark's been pulling more than his share of double shifts. I need to let him go home for a few days, spend some time with his family. There isn't any need for me to go home. It's so empty without you, Bella."

I paused as I always did, hoping, I guess, that she would sit up and smile at me. Say, "Take me home, Dad, and I'll make you some supper. I don't know how you survived all these years on your own cooking!"

But of course she didn't, so I trudged out of the room, suddenly feeling every one of my forty-seven years.

**Edward's POV:  
**

I'd grown used to the quiet by now.

After a while I'd stopped expecting her to talk back to me, and eventually I grew tired of my own voice, echoing emptily around the room, mocking me.

So I just sat now, holding the hand that still wore my ring, rubbing my finger across her warm skin. _Noise is light. Laughter is the sun. Your voice illuminates my soul._

_Silence…this silence is darkness._

I cut off my inner ramblings and focused on her face. She was even paler than normal now. The shade of her skin competed with mine. When she came out of this, I would take her somewhere warm and sunny on our honeymoon. Somewhere isolated, where it would just be us and I wouldn't have to hide my sparkling skin. She would grow tan and healthy again, and we would start our new life together.

Then I would grant her her greatest wish. I would give her eternity. Never again would I put her off until it was too late.

I rose abruptly, knocking my chair over in the process. The harsh sound of metal striking tile echoed harshly through the room, making me freeze.

Automatically my gaze shot to Bella. A tiny movement caught the corner of my eye. My eyes went to her hand.

Her fingers twitched again.

Before I could hit the call button for Carlisle, she stirred a little more. I leaned over her. "Bella, honey, wake up for me. You've been sleeping for too long. C'mon, darling, you can do it."

Bella opened her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Reviewers, thank you! I love all the reviews I get. Especially the insightful ones. I like hearing ways I could improve my stories. I take each and every suggestion into account, so speak up! (And remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I update).**

**Edward's POV:**

I didn't dare move or breathe. I stood there staring into the glorious chocolate eyes I had all but given up hope of ever seeing again. "Bella?" I whispered. I didn't want to break the spell. I didn't want to blink and lose her again…

Her lips parted slightly. "Where am I?" she whispered groggily, voice hoarse and rusty from little use.

Suddenly everything Carlisle had said about brain damage sprang up in my mind. I kept my voice calm and modulated. "You're in the hospital, Bella. You had an accident and wrecked your truck. Do you remember?"  
She focused on me. "I'm in the hospital?" she asked, confused. I nodded, wanting desperately for her to be my Bella.

But the next words out of her mouth dispelled that hope and utterly shocked me.

"Are you the doctor or something?"

**Bella's POV:  
**

This was weird – too weird. What was with this place? Strangers kept staring at me, talking all at once, until a guy I finally figured out was really the doctor shooed them all out.

He was handsome in a Greek God sort of way, and didn't look older than twenty-five – definitely not old enough to be a doctor.

And at the moment, he was staring at me as intently as the rest of them.

"Well, Bella, how do you feel?" he asked me, which kind of made me mad.

"I prefer Isabella," I told him icily. "And I feel extremely confused."

Something flickered across his perfect face – Hurt? Confusion? – before he masked it and smiled. "Of course, Isabella. And some…confusion is to be expected. Physically, how do you feel?"

"Sort of tired…my head aches a little." As I said this, I automatically reached towards the back of my head…and promptly shrieked. "Oh my God, I'm _bald!"_

He captured my hands in his – God, his hands were cold. "We had to, Isabella, to get to the gash. A piece of glass from the windshield cut you pretty badly."

I must have looked as clueless as I felt, because he rocked back on the balls of his feet and smiled – but it was a sad smile. "Why don't you find out exactly what you do remember, okay, Isabella?"

I was extremely curious as to that end myself, so I nodded. "Right, Doctor…?"

He lost his smile for one brief moment. "Cullen. Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

The name didn't sound familiar at all. "Dr. Cullen," I said, turning it over in my mind. Nope. I'd never heard of the guy.

After an awkward pause, Dr. Cullen cleared his throat. "All right then. What's the very last thing you remember?"

I thought hard. "My mom got married to Phil and they left on their honeymoon. They should be back soon – they were just going for a week. I'm staying alone at the house. I ran to the grocery store for some milk, and…" I ransacked my memory and came up with nothing. "It's blank after that."

"And where exactly do you live, Bella – Isabella?"

"Phoenix, Arizona," I told him, and gave him my mom's house address.

"You're sure about that?"

"Well, I lived there for almost sixteen years, so yeah, pretty sure," I said, probably not as politely as I should have, but this was seriously starting to tick me off. Suddenly a thought struck me. "What's the date?"

He appeared not to hear me as he scribbled a few things on his clipboard. "We'll talk some more later, Isabella. Right now there's someone outside who's pretty anxious to see you."

He shot me one more oddly sad smile before quietly leaving the room.

"_How is she, Dr. Cullen?" Charlie converged on the doctor before the door was completely shut._

_Carlisle looked around at his family, all of whom were anticipating the worst. "She doesn't remember her life in Forks," he finally said, feeling that, at least, could be stated with absolute certainty. "She believes she lives in Arizona and Renee and Phil are on their honeymoon."_

"_Will her memory ever come back?" Alice asked in a tiny voice._

"_I don't know," Carlisle answered truthfully. "It could, with time. It's unlikely but not impossible. The important thing to remember is not to pressure her. I'm only going to let Charlie in to see her now, and Charlie, whatever she says, go along with it. I haven't told her the date or where she is. Just go along with it for now, and don't upset her." _

_The police chief nodded slowly, still trying to work his mind around the fact that Bella was awake but didn't remember all the months she'd spent in Forks._

_Slowly he trudged past Carlisle and into the hospital room that had become so familiar to him over the last two months._

I hardly had time to take in my surroundings before the door was opening again. A cop in full uniform stepped in hesitantly. I was puzzled until my eyes traveled up to his face. "Dad?" I asked in disbelief.

"Hey, Bells," he said, sounding relieved. "How do you feel?"

"What's with the weird nicknames?" I asked, a little peeved. "My name is Isabella."

He looked at me funny but nodded. "Sorry, Isabella. I'm just happy to see you awake…" he stuttered to a halt.

"Geez, Dad, you didn't have to come all the way to Arizona for me. I'm sure I'll be fine."

He swallowed, his throat bobbing visibly. "Uh, I was glad to, Isabella. I was, uh, worried about you."

I hadn't seen him since I was fourteen – that's when I'd stopped visiting him in that dreary, horrid little town in Washington. So why did he suddenly take an interest in my well-being?

"That's nice, Dad. But Mom is probably already on her way back. She's probably frantic by now, if someone called her. Someone _did _call her, right?"

He licked his lips. "Yeah, Be – I mean Isabella, I called her. She's on her way with Phil. Well, I have to go, sweetheart. I'll be back in to check on you in an hour or so."

He backed out, looking kind of shell-shocked. What was _with _these people?


	10. Chapter 10

**This was harder to write…I hope everything makes sense and falls into place as it's supposed to. If it doesn't let me know! I love reviews!**

**Edward's POV:  
**

After nearly four days of careful monitoring and questions, Carlisle came to the conclusion that the only damage Bella had sustained was the memory loss. He'd quizzed her on the basics – colors and numbers and things like that – and the only things she had trouble with were the two years since she'd come to Forks. She'd completely erased them from her mind. And something else, too. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but she wasn't…Bella. She had changed. Insisting on being called Isabella, a different favorite color…subtle things, but they were there.

On the second day she'd insisted on knowing the date; after a hurried consultation with Charlie, and one by phone with Renee, we agreed to tell her she was just in Washington for a quick visit with Charlie. The two years she couldn't remember had been spent in Jacksonville, Florida, where Renee and Phil now lived. To our relief she had accepted the explanation.

Renee, who had arrived yesterday, was now sitting with a sleeping Bella.

Back at our house, I called a Cullen family meeting.

Within five minutes everyone was gathered in the living room. I braced myself for what I was about to say; it wouldn't be easy. Already the ripping pain was tearing at my heart as I thought of eternity without Bella.

Carlisle knew. I could see it in his face as he sat next to Esme on the couch. I avoided his eyes as I addressed my family.

"You've all spoken to Bella at one point or another, since she's awakened. And she hasn't remembered any of you, has she?"

Heads shook all around the room. "She doesn't even seem the same," Jasper murmured.

I turned to Carlisle. "What's your take on it, Carlisle?"

He took his time answering. "If we expect her to recover, it's important not to push her to remember. Keep her calm, and the memories have a chance of eventually pushing through to the surface."

"But it's not likely, is it?" I asked, pulling the answer from his thoughts before he spoke it.

"No. I'm afraid not, Edward."

He started talking about starting over. We could rebuild our relationship with Bella, from scratch. That in a way it was a good thing, because all the bad memories would be behind us. I could hear him thinking about James, and our six-month separation, and Jacob, and Victoria.

I interrupted him. "No."

"What?"

"There isn't going to be a second time." The grief in my voice, as much as I tried to hide it, bled through.

"Edward…"

I met his gaze. "She doesn't remember, Carlisle. This is it. Her chance for a normal life. Don't you see, it's what's best for her. She can have what I couldn't give her – safety."

"Edward, we've tried this before…"

"It's different now," I said dully. "You've seen her. You've talked to her. I've read yours and Charlie's thoughts. I've heard the conversations. That is not my Bella lying in there, Carlisle. That is a stranger. Let her go back to Jacksonville, with Renee. Let her forget Forks ever existed."

I turned to Alice. "That's the reason you can't see her anymore. Bella Swan died in that accident. Whoever is in that hospital is not the girl I love – the girl we love."

"She is your fiancée, Edward. A daughter and sister to the rest of us. To leave her again would rip this family apart," Carlisle spoke up.

"Could you do it, Carlisle, if it meant saving her life? If it meant saving her _soul?"_

His ocher eyes, normally so serene and assured, were torn. "Give it a few more days, Edward. Please. We'll decide then."

I gave him a short nod, but I had already decided.

I reached into my pocket, touching the ring I had slipped from her finger as she slept. She hadn't had the chance to notice it before – she'd been too confused and disoriented. I had had no choice but to take it off.

It would kill me to leave her again. Could I spend eternity without her by my side?

But she would be safe. And that would have to be enough.

I resisted the urge to crush the ring into dust…crush it, like all my hopes and dreams of an eternity with the woman I loved had been crushed.

**Bella's POV:**

"Mom, I'm ready to go home. I mean, seriously, the sun _never _shines here."

I tried to keep the whine out of my voice, but I guess I wasn't entirely successful. I was too tired of the rain to care.

"Dr. Cullen says another week, Isabella. You've been through a lot in the past two months, baby."

Someone knocked on the door, and Mom called, "Come in."

One of Dr. Cullen's adopted kids – the little short pixie-haired one – danced into the room. "Hey, Isabella!" she chirped. "I thought you might like me to give you a makeover. Renee said you were pretty bored."

"Sure, I guess," I said reluctantly. Alice's constant chatter was annoying, and it was really starting to get on my nerves. She didn't seem to notice my lack of enthusiasm, though, as she produced a makeup kit from her massive silver purse. Renee ducked back outside – to talk to Charlie, I guess – and Alice went to work on my face.

"So, Isabella, are you anxious to get back to Jacksonville?" There was a hint of sadness in her voice, but I barely noticed.

"You bet," I said without hesitation, already feeling the sun on my face.

**Jacob's POV:**

"Look, I think maybe I can help her," I pleaded. I hated begging a bloodsucker for anything. But for Bella, I would.

Carlisle ran a hand through his blond hair and sighed. "You know what we agreed on, Jacob. It's safer for her."

"But we have a connection! For God's sake, I grew up with her. Don't you think that might trigger something? Don't you want Bella back?"

"Of course I do!" the mild-mannered doctor snapped, and for a moment I was stunned speechless.

"I'm sorry," he apologized instantly. "We're all a little on edge, Jacob. I should not have spoken to you like that."

"It's cool, Doc," I said. "So you really don't want her to remember?"

He looked torn. "For my own selfish reasons, yes, I want her to remember. I want desperately for her to remember. But on the other hand," his amber gaze bore into mine, "would you wish a life like ours on Bella? It was different before. She chose us, and we were the safest option. But now…she has a chance to start over. Without the bad memories," and I knew he was thinking of James and Victoria, and all that had happened to Bella since she came to Forks.

And I wasn't the safe route anymore; all I had to do was look at Emily's face to know that.

I sighed heavily. "I understand," I said, my voice heavy with defeat. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, I know this isn't easy for you either."

I walked down the squeaky clean hospital corridor for the last time. I passed Bella's room with one long, goodbye look.

_Goodbye, Bella. Have a good life._

I phased as soon as I was out of sight, not caring where I was going or when I would stop.

I just had to get away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Due to mixed reviews on the subject, I feel the need to assure you guys that there **_**will **_**be a happy ending. It might be a rough ride getting there, but you won't be disappointed. There's still hope for our favorite couple!**

**That said, on to the story.**

**Edward's POV:**

I had watched Bella sleeping so many times. Countless nights had been spent standing next to her bed, just watching the gentle rise and fall of her breathing. It was a constant source of amusement to me to hear the things she muttered in her sleep.

But she didn't talk anymore while sleeping. Just one more thing I had lost.

I sighed, a whisper of a sound that was in no danger of waking anyone. This was goodbye. Renee was taking her home tomorrow, and I would never see her again. It was better that way – I kept trying to tell myself that.

"Goodbye, Bella Swan," I whispered, "I'm sorry I didn't listen. If I'd changed you, you never would have died. I don't know who you are anymore. Have a good life, darling. A safe one."

I slipped out the window without being noticed, heading back home.

Emmett met me at the door. "She still leaving?" he asked, hope etched clearly in his face.

I nodded silently. "Yeah."

His face fell and he stood back so I could come in. "Carlisle wants us all in the living room."

I followed him to where the rest of the family was waiting. Carlisle had his head in his hands, and Esme was stroking his back comfortingly. I realized I had been selfish in my grief.

They were losing Bella, too.

"Edward," Carlisle said, lifting his head to greet me. "I take it there's no change?"

The question was habit. He knew there was no change. That there never would be.

"No," I said anyway, taking a seat next to Alice.

"Edward, we were discussing something before you came in. Do you want to leave Forks? It will be hard for you to be here, with her gone…"

His voice trailed off and I could hear him thinking about all the ways I would have to deal with her loss.

"No," I surprised them all by saying. Esme, especially – she had already started thinking about how to pack everything up. "No," I said, more assertively. "We still have a good five years here before we're forced to move. I won't take that away from us."

"Are you sure, son?" Carlisle asked, and Alice patted my knee but she didn't say anything.

"Yes," I said. "I am."

"Is that all right with everyone else?" he asked, and heads nodded. Rosalie just shrugged.

Relief lightened some of the strain in his features. "Perhaps it will be easier for us all to have time to adjust, before we uproot again."

Rosalie was thinking, rather disgustedly, that they would all have to deal with my temper tantrums and zombie-like behavior again, now that Bella was gone again. I repressed my anger at her. I needed to alleviate that fear for all my family.

"I want you all to know I'm not going to do anything stupid," I said, looking right at her as I said it. "It won't be like last time. I'm not going to go running off to the Volturi. I'm not going to close everyone out."

She had the grace to look ashamed.

Esme was noticeably relieved, and I felt another stab of guilt at what I'd put everyone through last year, when I'd thoughtlessly left Bella.

"Are we all going to see her off tomorrow?" Alice asked quietly. Poor Alice. I was losing my fiancée, but she was losing her best friend.

Carlisle thought a moment. "It's Saturday tomorrow, so if you want, yes."

"Edward, Charlie's coming over to speak with you in thirty minutes," she said to me.

I looked at my watch, surprised, but it was only nine-thirty. Funny, I thought it was later.

"We'll give you some privacy," Carlisle said quietly, and at a nod from him everyone stood quietly and left the room.

Sure enough, exactly thirty minutes later I heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the drive. I met him at the door. "Hello, Chief Swan," I said politely, inviting him in. "What can I do for you?"

The poor man looked terribly awkward and uncomfortable, as he followed me into the living room. "I'm sorry I didn't phone," he offered, taking the seat I motioned him towards.

I sat down, too, hoping to put him at ease. "It's no problem, Chief Swan." His thoughts were racing a mile a minute, making it difficult for me to get a read on them.

Finally he took a deep breath. "Can I be straight with you, Edward?"

"Yes, sir," I said, a little cautiously.

"I know I never liked you a lot. I never made any secret of that, and I'm sorry."

I was surprised, to say the least. "Why, that's all right," I told him. "There's nothing to forgive."

He flushed a little. "And I wanted to say, I didn't approve of Bella getting engaged so young. But I never, ever wanted this to happen."

Pain cloaked his mind, so tangible I could feel it. "Bella, she's, different. Even Renee noticed it. So I guess it's best for everyone she's going back to Jacksonville. But…God, I'm going to miss that girl."

If I could cry, I would've joined Charlie. "I know," I said. "I'd planned on forever with her, and now…"

His eyes were stained with tears and grief. "I'm sorry for falling apart on you," he said at last, grabbing onto some semblance of control. "I promised myself I wasn't going to do that."

We shared a brief, hollow smile.

"Well, I guess I'll be going then," he said, offering me his hand. "No hard feelings?"

"None," I agreed, shaking it without hesitation.

"Will you and your family come see her off tomorrow afternoon?" he asked quietly, and I fought to speak past the lump in my throat. "Count on it," I assured him, and saw him out.

Alice flitted down the stairs, her shoulders slumped dejectedly. "I hate this," she moaned, and Jasper came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "I know, baby."

I tuned them all out, I couldn't handle it anymore. Tomorrow would be hard enough to get through.

And then I had eternity to look forward to this emptiness.


	12. Chapter 12

**To Kimmie: That's such a sweet idea! But I want to put a different twist on this story…I hope you enjoy it anyway. I LOVE THAT IDEA, though, and it's already inspired a new story. Thanks so much for commenting!**

**And the Tangled reference is picked out of my previous story, Behind the Mask. I just wanted to give you another idea of how much Bella has changed, because in my other story it was like her all time favorite movie. **

**Edward's POV:**

"But what if she gets her memory back?" Emmett asked woefully, for what had to be the hundredth time that morning.

Carlisle sighed but answered patiently, as he always did. "Then we'll still be right here, son, and she'll know just where to come."

Emmett slumped back into Rosalie, who murmured to him soothingly. I, however, could read her thoughts. _Stupid human girl…when is she going to stop wrecking this family?_

I didn't bother to snap at her. It didn't matter anymore.

We'd agreed to meet Charlie, Renee, and Phil at the hospital and go with them to the airport. Poor Charlie, he was devastated. We all were.

I half expected Jacob to be there, but after the level of frustration and grief I'd heard from his mind, I guess it wasn't really a surprise that he wasn't.

Jasper was just barely managing, having to deal with everyone's emotions besides his own. Alice squeezed his hand encouragingly, and we all stepped inside the hospital.

Bella was at the desk, holding Emmett's big teddy bear. The big guy's eyes lit up, and he took a step forward. But before he could speak, Bella's words floated clearly over to us:

"Can you give this to some kid who needs it?" she was asking the clerk, pushing the bear across the counter. "I don't have room for it."

For the first time since this whole ordeal started I fought the urge to be angry at Bella. Emmett's face fell, devastation ruling his thoughts as his gift to Bella disappeared underneath the counter.

I think that's when he finally accepted that our Bella wasn't ever coming back.

**Carlisle's POV:  
**

The Bella I knew would never have done something like that – especially to Emmett.

I forced up a smile as she approached, the rest of her family gathering behind her. I held out my hand. "Isabella, you're looking better."

"Thanks," she said, her gaze skipping over my family. "Hi, guys."

A chorus of subdued _hello_s echoed around the group.

I smiled sympathetically at Charlie. "We should go," I said. "We don't have long to get to the airport."

Emmett looked back at me. "I'll be along," he said, "I'll meet you guys in the Volvo."

Edward was about to argue, but I cut him off with a look. "That's fine, Emmett, but don't take too long."

He nodded as Esme and I ushered the rest of the kids out of the hospital. "Go on, love, I'll wait for him," I told her, and she stretched up on tiptoe to plant a gentle kiss on my lips.

I waited just outside the doors, where I could see and hear Emmett thanks to my heightened senses.

He was approaching the desk. "Excuse me, ma'am," he said. The girl looked up, smiling at him. "Help you, sir?"

"That bear…that Isabella left you…I would like to keep it."

She frowned a little. "She wanted it to be donated to a child who needs it," she told him.

He reached into his pocket and slid a twenty across the counter. "You can still do that," he said. "But I would like to keep that bear."

Understanding dawned in her eyes as she slowly took the money. "You knew her before, didn't you?"  
Emmett nodded. "Please, ma'am."

She looked at the twenty. "This will buy a very nice bear," she said softly. "Here you go."

She handed him the giant bear. It looked tiny in his large, muscled arms. He held it tenderly. "Thank you, ma'am."

Slowly, he trudged out to join me. I fell into step beside him.

We didn't speak – there was nothing to say.

And when we climbed into the Volvo, no one said a word about Emmett's teddy bear. Even Rosalie passed up on the chance to tease him – because we were all feeling the same things. And we would all get our comfort in different ways.

At the airport, Charlie was standing awkwardly off to the side. Renee and Phil kindly gave us the chance to say goodbye privately.

She hugged Charlie, barely giving him the chance to settle his arms around her before she was pulling away and heading to us. "Bye, Dr. Cullen," she said, shaking my hand. It was all I could do to content myself with that – I wanted to hug her one more time so badly.

"Mrs. Cullen," she said, and lucky Esme got a quick hug. She waved to Jasper and Rosalie, who were keeping their distance – both for very different reasons.

Emmett had wisely left the bear in the Volvo. He stepped up, and she smiled. The same smile I had become used to seeing and loving. But there was no Bella behind the smile.

"Goodbye, Isabella," Emmett whispered.

She looked at him, no doubt wondering why he was acting so strangely. Finally she shrugged. "Bye, Emmett."

Alice gave her a quick hug, and I could tell she was on the verge of losing it. Quietly I motioned for her to take Emmett back to the car.

Only Edward was left. We all gave him some space.

"Goodbye, Isabella," he said, his voice steady. "We enjoyed getting to know you. Write us sometime, will you?"

"Sure," she answered flippantly. "Well, I have to go, see you guys. Thanks again, Dr. Cullen!"

She gave Charlie one more quick hug and then she was gone.

I gathered my family up, slowly heading them towards the gate. Edward stayed behind to talk to Charlie. I could hear him clearly.

"I'm sorry, Edward," he said, "Really, truly sorry."

"I know," my son just said simply. "Keep in touch, will you, sir? Let us know how she's doing?"

"Of course," Charlie answered immediately. "I'll let you know."

Edward smiled his crooked smile, but it was empty.

We watched her plane take off from the lookout window. Automatically I lifted my hand in farewell, even knowing she couldn't see me. _Goodbye, Bella, my daughter._

Esme squeezed my hand. She knew what it was like to lose a child – and now it was happening again. In a very different way, but it still hurt.

And I suspected that it always would.

**Isabella's POV:**

I was free, free, free! Heading back to glorious sunshine. If I never saw Forks again it would be too soon. Honestly, did Charlie think he could just waltz back into my life? He'd spent seventeen years ignoring me except for the occasional postcard and two weeks out of every summer.

Mom squeezed my knee. "Doing okay, hon?" she asked.

"Yep," I sighed happily, reaching for the complimentary bag of nuts. "I just can't believe I live in Florida now. It's kind of weird to be missing two years, you know?"

She smiled sympathetically. "Well, we'll just have to get to work making new memories."

She seemed anxious to change the subject for some reason. She pointed to the movie. "Hey, look, Isabella! It's your favorite movie, Tangled!"

I watched the animated characters dancing across the screen as the opening credits played. "That's funny, I don't remember it," I said. She frowned and flagged down the flight attendant to rent a set of headphones.

"Well, maybe if you watch it it'll come back to you," she said. I put them on, curious.

As the movie wore on, I stifled a yawn. Honestly, this was just stupid. I couldn't believe I'd _liked _this. I mean, seriously?

About half-way through I'd had enough. I pulled the headphones off, earning a curious look from Mom. "What's the matter?"

"Were you pulling my leg?" I asked. She looked puzzled.

"This is like, a first-grade movie. I didn't really like it that much, did I?"

She looked taken aback and then sad. "I don't know, Isabella. Maybe you just grew out of it."  
"No kidding," I said. I got a Coke and finally leaned my seat back to take a nap while I was waiting for the stupid movie to go off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Edward's POV:  
**

In all the ways I had to cope with the loss of Bella, going to school was definitely one of the hardest. Not only did I have to deal with the looks, I had to deal with their thoughts, too.

_Man, I can't believe it! Edward's free! Maybe now I can have my chance at him…_

_He was too good for Bella anyway – she was so plain, I don't know what he saw in her._

_Oh, poor Edward. I feel so bad for him and Bella. I'm going to miss her so much._

The last was from Angela, who smiled and waved at me sympathetically. I smiled back at her. She'd always been nothing but kind. Bella had told me that her and Ben were the only ones who stuck by her during the long months alone.

I shut my mind off from that topic.

But everything there reminded me of her. The empty seat in Biology. Her volleyball team winning in gym.

My family's table, reduced to silence as we all sat and stared into empty space. Anything to keep our gaze off the empty chair.

"Edward," Jessica jumped in front of me as I started out of the cafeteria. "Hi," she said, in an obvious attempt to be flirtatious.

I glared at her. "Hello," I said, with ice dripping off my voice. She looked a little taken aback, but plunged on. "So, I like, heard about Bella leaving. Tragic, right? Because I knew you two were like, engaged or something."

_Oh, my God! He's got to ask me out now. Bella's out of the picture for good, this is so great!_

I was calculating how long it would take me to rip her throat out when Angela Weber appeared at her elbow. "Jess, let's go," she said firmly, grabbing the other girl by the arm. "Ben is waiting for us."

_Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. That's the last thing you need right now. _

Jessica looked peeved, but she let Angela drag her away.

I took a deep breath that I didn't need, calming myself back down.

"Edward?" Alice whispered from beside me. I felt a wave a calm emanating from Jasper.

I forced up a smile. "I'm good. Let's go, we'll be late."

Neither of them believed me, but they fell into step beside me and didn't contest the matter.

**Isabella's POV:  
**

I soon fell into a routine, settling into my house in Jacksonville. I had physical therapy once a week, and that was pretty rough, but all in all my body was adjusting well. My therapist was this totally hot guy named Anthony Martin, and I was hoping he would ask me out.

It took a lot of hard work and lost sleep, but I caught up the school work I had missed. I hoped to graduate with honors at the end of the school year.

I lay sprawled on my bed, reading the latest Marsha Hicks thriller. I had been disgusted to learn that my previous collection had consisted mainly of classics. Ick, ick, ick. Who needs Jane Austen anyway?

A knock on the door pulled me out of the story. Irritated, I rolled over. "What?"

Mom poked her head into the room. "Phil and I are going out. Wanna come?"

"Nah, thanks. I'm just going to stay here and read. I might go out with some friends and catch a movie later."

"Be careful, and take your phone with you," she warned. I rolled my eyes at her. "I'm not the one who's always forgetting," I shot back.

Her eyes flickered. "See ya, Isabella."

I went back to my book.

Not twenty minutes after Mom and Phil pulled out of the drive, someone honked a horn. I went to the window. Anthony waved up at me from the wheel of a hot little sports car, and I remembered his promise to come see me sometime. Wow, had he ever!

I held up a hand indicating five minutes, and he nodded.

Rushing to the mirror, I quickly slapped on some lipstick. Pulling my hair back into a clip, I grabbed my purse and dashed downstairs.

Grinning madly, I hopped into the front seat and we headed downtown.

**Esme's POV:**

I wandered aimlessly through the house, straightening things that didn't need it. The kids were all at school and everything seemed so empty.

Carlisle was off work today, but his office door remained firmly closed. That in itself was very unusual. Normally off days meant us time.

I wavered for only a moment before pushing the door open.

My husband was sitting at his desk, medical book open in front of him. But he wasn't reading. His head was propped up on his elbows, hands covering his face.

In a flash I was at his side, gently kneading his shoulders. After a few moments the tense muscles relaxed. "Ah, that feels good," he murmured, reaching up to catch my hand in his.

He turned his chair slightly to the side and pulled me into his lap. "I've been neglecting you, haven't I?"

"Mmmm…maybe a little," I teased him playfully.

He smiled, but his eyes stayed serious. Seeing that I wasn't going to tease him out of his mood, I sobered, too. Sometimes it helped him to talk about it.

"Did we do the right thing, Esme?" he asked, resting his head against my shoulder.

"We did the only thing we could," I replied softly, seeing how much it was hurting him. "We did what was right for her."

"Our relationship was really coming along," he mused sadly. "She was so comfortable around me. You know, I remember the first time I ever saw her. She nearly got plastered when Tyler Crowley lost control of his van. Edward insisted she come to the ER."

He chuckled a little. "She was sitting there on the table when I walked in, red faced and looking like she would rather disappear. Charlie was fit to be tied. Bella wasn't really hurt, just shaken up a bit. Tyler had multiple slices and abrasions on his forehead, but he was so busy apologizing the nurses could hardly work on him. I thought Charlie was going to strangle him! Poor Bella was so embarrassed."

I smiled. "She got to know the hospital staff by name, didn't she?"

"They got used to seeing her," he agreed.

"I miss her," I said. "But she's safe. And all the nightmares are gone."

"Yes," he mused, "that is the only blessing that has come of this tragedy. She'll never have to deal with that again."

"She's happy," I whispered. "That will have to be enough."  
He caught my hand and pressed it to his cheek. "I know."

His tone was accepting, but he wondered.

We all did.


	14. Chapter 14

**Edward's POV:**

Almost a month after Bella left for good, Charlie and I were talking in the station. I'd stopped by for some papers he wanted to give Carlisle, and as always the conversation had turned to Bella.

"She's changing her last name," he told me, rubbing the back of his neck absently. "Phil's adopting her. She's Isabella Dwyer now."

One more link irreparably broken. One more tie to Forks cut forever.

"She's still doing okay physically?"

"Yeah, apparently she's dating her therapist."

I didn't expect that to cut so deeply. I had known this would happen – it was what moving on meant. But Charlie's words caught me by surprise.

He must have noticed the change in my expression, because he looked disgusted with himself. "Aw, Edward, you know I didn't mean to let it out like that."

"S'okay Charlie," I assured him, "I understand. I knew it would happen eventually."

Slowly I made my way back out into the cloudy, misty, miserable day.

Wishing for the sun…my sunlight, my warm, happy Bella. God, I missed her. I missed the delicate blush pooling in her cheeks. I missed her warmth against my cold skin. I missed lying side by side in our meadow, talking about anything and everything. I missed her luscious scent, the smell that was uniquely Bella.

I even missed her clumsiness.

Pulling out of the station, I resisted the urge to laugh at the irony. Bella would've been so happy to see me and Charlie buddying up. I would call us friends, exactly, but at least he didn't finger his gun every time I showed up.

I was beginning to rethink my words to my family – all of a sudden I just wanted to leave this town. Leave all the reminders behind. But I wouldn't because this was the first real home we'd had.

One of the things I missed most about my human life was the ability to get drunk.

**Isabella's POV:**

"Midnight, good night singing along/baby why you leaving so early? Time to get home, home, oh, home."

My hair whipped wildly in the wind as I sang along with Anthony and the other two in the convertible. After the first time it grew increasingly easy to set aside my reservations and sneak out to join him. Soon he'd introduced me to his other friends, a couple named Patty Rose Cyrus and Reece Donovan.

We were all slightly buzzed, hence the loud, off-key singing. I wasn't worried though – Anthony was a safe driver even after a few drinks.

"Hey, Anthony," I said, sitting back down. "I really do gotta get home. Renee and Phil won't be asleep forever, you know."

He laughed as if that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard, and I started wondering just how many he'd really had.

"Kay, Issy," he said, "One more round and we'll go."

_Issy?_

"Look, Anthony, I'm not sure –"

But my protest was cut off by headlights coming directly at us…and I realized we were in the wrong lane just as we collided.

* * *

"Isabella Marie Swan Dwyer!"  
Mom's frightened voice was the first thing I heard. God, I had one heck of a hangover.

I was sitting on an exam table, knees drawn up to my chest and head cradled lovingly in my hands. I waved one hand in the general direction of her voice, trying to get her to tone it down a little.

"Are you all right?" she asked, apparently not getting the hint. Fingers wedged under my jaw, forcing me to look up at her. I squinted at the light. "Mom," I complained.

The arrival of the doctor thankfully drew her attention off of me. "Mrs. Dwyer," he greeted her, his voice dripping with disapproval.

"Is she okay?" Mom demanded.

"Yes," the doctor said, "she's a very lucky young lady."

He scribbled something on his chart. "A little banged up, and a severe hangover seem to be the extent of her injuries. I noticed the scar on her forehead, how did that happen?"

Mom looked at me angrily before dragging the doctor out into the hall, where they held an intense whispered discussion. I dropped my head back down and tried to tune everything out.

"Excuse me, Miss Dwyer?"

The voice was cool and flat, and I lifted my gaze to meet the eyes of a young, dark-haired officer. "What?"

"Were you aware that the driver of the car was drinking?"

"He hadn't had many," I defended him automatically, even though mentally I was still cussing him out.

"Anthony Martin confessed to drinking eight beers prior to getting behind the wheel."

"Oops," I shrugged sarcastically.

Anger flashed in his cool green eyes. "_Oops, _Miss Dwyer? _Oops?"_

He took a breath, visibly trying to calm himself down. "There was a young mom and two kids in that minivan you hit. The mom was lucky – the airbag protected her. The two-year-old escaped with minor bruises, but he's shaken up pretty good. The twelve-year-old is currently paralyzed from the waist down and the doctors don't know if she'll ever walk again. Her name is Lindsey Johansen, and she was looking forward to playing soccer professionally. She's a very beautiful, talented little girl, and you just helped pull the plug on every dream she ever had."

Stunned, I looked into his disappointed, disapproving green eyes, and suddenly it wasn't him standing there.

Dr. Cullen from Forks was, holding a clipboard, looking at me with that same disapproval. "Bella, you know you should've been more careful. I could have lost you!" His golden ocher eyes held disappointment, but there was more…they held fatherly love…

I gasped in a breath, head starting to ache painfully – but it was a different ache. This one was deep-rooted, tearing me apart. I clutched my head, shaking away the image of Dr. Cullen.

"Miss Dwyer!"

The officer caught me as I rolled off the table, trying to get away from whatever it was I'd seen. Was I going crazy?

"Isabella," Mom was kneeling front of me, "what is it?"

"I must've hit my head," I muttered. "Dr. Cullen…"

"Did you remember something?" Her eyes were watchful, alert, while the officer was no doubt wondering if we were both insane.

"No, couldn't have. I just thought…"

I stood, shaking my head, but the pain was gone except for the residual hangover ache. "It's nothing."

The officer let me go and backed away. I turned to him. "I'm truly sorry," I said, suddenly wondering what the crap I was doing with guys like Anthony Martin in the first place. "I've never been drunk before. I've never ridden with anyone like that."

"Tell that to Lindsay," he said, but he didn't seem as angry as before. "We're pressing charges against Mr. Martin. However, I will give you over into your mother's custody. She has promised there will be consequences."

I swallowed and looked over at my mother. Now that her worry had dissipated, there was pure fury in her face.

"Oh yes," she hissed the words like a promise, "there will _definitely _be consequences."

Jail didn't look so bad right then.


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry guys, I know this is short. But hey, I updated twice in one day! Woohoo, right? Anyway, drop me some reviews and you might get another chapter tonight...pretty please with sugar on top?**

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**Renee's POV:  
**

I drove home with Isabella slouched over in the front seat, staring silently out the window. I would never forget the terror that had gripped me when I'd gotten the call from a state trooper at 4 in the morning.

My initial reaction had been _No, my daughter would never do that. She's asleep upstairs. _

Apparently my daughter _would _do that, and now I was shocked and angry beyond measure. I wish Phil was here, but he couldn't get off work.

I parked the car and got out, slamming the door a little harder than absolutely necessary.

Isabella got out a little more slowly. I unlocked the door and waited impatiently for her to climb the porch steps and go into the house.

Inside I sat her down on the couch. "Now we are going to discuss your behavior, young lady."

In the end I grounded her for two weeks. No phone, no computer, no nothing. And I absolutely forbade her from seeing Anthony again, under _any _circumstances.

She looked slightly repentant towards the end of my tirade. I ended with telling her to go to her room, young lady, and I mean right now.

She paused at the foot of the stairs. "Mom?"

"What?"

"I know you're angry at me, and you have every reason to be…but could you lift my grounding just enough to let me go see Lindsay? I want to apologize in person."

For a moment my old Bella shone through, and I nodded in spite of myself. "Yes, Isabella. I'll think about it."

After that the only sound in the quiet house was the sound of her door shutting softly.

I sat back on the couch, suddenly exhausted. That was one major adjustment we'd had to go through. Before Bella had never acted like a regular wild, hormonal teenager. She'd always been like a little old lady, more my sister than my daughter. Suddenly I was forced to deal with an angry, rebellious teenager, and I wasn't completely sure I was up to the task.

I thought about the episode Isabella had had in the hospital earlier. She'd freaked the officer out, and truth be told me too.

On impulse I pulled out my cell and dialed Dr. Cullen's number. He'd been so nice and understanding, and before the accident I knew Isabella had been very close to him.

Three rings and his warm velvet voice came over the line. "Hello, Carlisle Cullen speaking."

"Dr. Cullen? Hi, it's Renee Dwyer. Bella's mom?"

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Dwyer. Is everything all right?" His voice turned concerned and alert.

"Sort of," I said wearily. "Isabella's fine – physically, at least."  
"What's happened?"

"I think she remembered something," I told him. "She was in a minor accident, and while at the ER she got a terrible headache. I think she remembered you, she said your name. It was just a flash, and then she was fine."

"An accident?" His worry filtered through the receiver.

I sighed and rested my head against the back of the couch. "I swear, Dr. Cullen, I brought home a stranger. She was drunk, he was drunk, and they were driving on the wrong side of the road."

"_What?!"_


	16. Chapter 16

**Over one hundred reviews! Yay! Keep it coming, folks, I love every one of them.**

**Carlisle's POV:**

I had never been so glad to be alone in the house – the rest were out hunting. Though I'm sure anything within two miles heard me bellow, "_What?"_

I carried the phone into my office, suddenly feeling the need to sit down. "Renee," I said, making an effort to calm myself down, "Please tell me I misheard you."

Her sigh carried over the line and into my ear. "I'm afraid not. I got a call at 4 a.m. this morning from an extremely angry state trooper."

"But she's not hurt?"

Renee huffed out a breath. "Aside from an intense hangover, there's not a scratch on her. Likewise, the driver is fine. However, the minivan they hit…"

She filled me in on everything while I listened incredulously. "But she did ask if she could go the hospital to see the little girl. And I swear, Carlisle, for a moment it was like she was herself again."

I massaged my forehead. "Periods of extreme trauma can shock her back into remembering," I mused, almost to myself. "However, it's been months. It's highly unlikely...I'm afraid the most she'll ever regain is short flashes every now and then, Renee."

"I knew it was too much to hope for," she sighed sadly. "Dr. Cullen, she frightens me. It's as if she's a different person, the way she acts and even talks!"

I remembered what Bella had told me once – that Renee and Charlie were good people, but they didn't have a clue. Renee was being forced to assume the parental role for what was probably the first time in her life.

"I know," I said, doing my best to reassure her. I wanted so badly to ask to speak to Isabella, but that wouldn't be wise, I knew.

"How's Charlie holding up?" she asked, sadly.

"He's doing okay," I told her, unable to bring myself to be anything but honest. "Bella's absence has hit us all hard, but he's adjusting."

"Thanks, Dr. Cullen, for everything you've done. I guess I'd better go."

"Goodbye, Renee. Don't hesitate to call me if anything changes, okay?"

I sat there just holding the phone for the longest time. Bella. Drunk. Getting in a car with a drunk driver.

I knew for a fact Charlie had drilled the evils of drinking into her head since she was tiny, even though he wasn't above taking nip now and then himself. But one thing he'd been absolutely adamant about – she was never to get into a car with a driver who she might even remotely suspect had been drinking. As police chief, I knew he must have seen horrible things caused by drunk drivers. I was an ER doctor – I had witnessed the same things myself.

Thank God I had long since learned to keep Edward out of my head. None of the rest of the family could know about this. Not even Esme – she couldn't keep Edward from reading her mind no matter how hard she tried to block him. Sooner or later her control always slipped. If Edward found out about this, I wouldn't be able to restrain him. And his running off to Jacksonville – _sunny _Jacksonville – in a panic wouldn't help anyone.

**Isabella's POV:**

Remorse ate at me as I sat in the middle of my bed, knees drawn up to my chest. What had I done? I was a horrible person.

I tried to read but nothing appealed to me, and finally I just sprawled out on top of the covers and went to sleep.

_I was lying on my back in a beautiful meadow, the sun bathing my face. It was such a rare occurrence here, and I was determined to soak it up._

_I didn't recognize the beautiful boy next to me, but his skin was sparkling. It was ethereal, and I could help but reach out and touch his face._

_He smiled at me, but his face was sad. Why should such a beautiful creature be in pain? It wasn't right._

_He lifted his hand to grasp mine, but his fingers just barely brushed my skin before he was ripped violently away from me. _

_I was trapped in a rusty, ancient truck, my mouth opened in a soundless scream as it rolled, crashing down an embankment. It banged to a stop with sickening suddenness, as if I'd hit something…the windshield exploded into a thousand glittering shards, all deadly._

_All aimed straight at me._

_I screamed._

"Isabella! Wake up, Isabella! It was only a dream. Just a dream, baby, you're safe."

Mom was sitting on the bed next to me, my body half in her lap. I collapsed into sobs, shuddering and pouring sweat.

"What happened?" she asked me, when I calmed down. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I think I remember the accident – the one in Forks," I sobbed. There had been something before that…but I couldn't remember. All I could remember was the horrifying feeling of being suspended in time, being forced to watch every second pass slowly, as if in a vacuum. The way all that glass had pounded into my body…

I shuddered again and hid my face in Mom's chest like a child.

"Oh, honey, how awful. Here, I'll get you a glass of water."

She didn't ask me to talk about it, and I was glad. I couldn't bear to rehash it right then.

It was a long time before I managed to get back to sleep, but I didn't dream anything else.


	17. Chapter 17

**To everyone who reviewed, you have my undying thanks. You rock, every one of you! I shall remain devoted to you forever. **

**Renee's POV:**

"Hi, Carlisle. How's it going?"

He'd asked me to keep him updated, and I was only too happy to oblige. We'd become good friends over the phone, actually. Turned out the man had loads of good parenting advice. Of course, he'd raised five teenagers. I guessed he'd picked up some things along the way.

"Hello, Renee, good to hear from you. I trust Isabella's well?"

"Yes, things have been fairly quiet around here lately. She spends a lot of time at the hospital with Lindsay – they think she'll be all right after all. Lots of physical therapy and a long recovery, but she's walking again."

"That's wonderful," Carlisle said warmly. "Isabella's finished with her punishment now, is that right?"

I sighed. "Yes, thank heaven. I was worried at first, but she's been well-behaved. Just school and the hospital and back home again. You know, Carlisle, she's started wearing blue again. She wouldn't at all when she came back, said it was a disgusting color."

We both knew the significance of that particular shade of blue – it had been her favorite color…before. I suspected because it had been _Edward's _favorite.

"But there's not any other signs?"

I chewed on my lip. "At night, I hear her saying things about Forks. She talks to Edward a lot, and calls for you and Esme sometimes. Holds full conversations with Charlie. But when she wakes up…she never remembers any of it."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "How is Edward?" I ventured, after he didn't say anything for several seconds.

"Taking it hard," he replied, his voice low. "We all are, but we're making it."

Long after I hung up the phone I sat there with it in my hand, an intense longing for my daughter taking hold of me…regret for all the lives that had been changed so irrevocably with one tragic moment.

**Carlisle's POV:**

After I hung up the phone, I sat in my study pretending to read. I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't hear my family come home from their hunt until Alice knocked on my door.

"Come in," I said, "the door's open."

She slipped inside and shut it behind her, coming over to sit down across from me. "Carlisle," she said quietly, "I tried to look at her future as Isabella Dwyer, not Bella Swan, and I still can't see her. I haven't said anything, I don't want to worry Edward. He's not here," she replied to my unspoken question. "Jasper and I came home early."

"And this worries you," I stated.

She nodded.

"Alice, I think there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. I think, that she is neither Isabella Dwyer or Bella Swan – she's somewhere in between." I explained about the little things Renee had told me about. "That's why you can't pinpoint her future – she is caught somewhere between two people."  
I could see the burden lift visibly. "You're right, Carlisle, I don't know why I didn't think of that." She came over to give me a quick hug. "Edward and the rest will be home in five minutes," she told me.

I nodded and watched her leave the room, the usual bounce gone from her step.

And then I began to think only in Greek to keep Edward from learning anything from my head.

**Isabella's POV:  
**

The good thing about my school in Jacksonville? It's within walking distance of our house.

I was enjoying the feel of the sun on my back when someone called to me from behind. "Isabella!"

I turned to see Audrey Lake cross the street, waving at me. "Wait up!"

I waited impatiently for her to fall into step with me, chattering the whole time. "Can you stay over tonight?" she asked eagerly.

I considered. "Well, Mom and Phil went to a game," I said, "and they won't be back until really late tonight. So, I better stay home."

It was a lame excuse and we both knew it, but I really had better things to do then listen to a bunch of chattering girls all night.

"Well, see ya, I guess," she said, and went join Ally and Joan across the street.

The house was silent with both Mom and Phil gone. I fumbled in my pocket for my key, dropping my cell phone in the process. It promptly shattered all over the concrete. A bad word slipped out before I could stop it – the phone was brand new. Mom was not going to be happy.

I went to put the key in the lock…but it was already unlocked, and slightly ajar to boot. That was weird…but Mom must not have shut it good. She was bad about things like that. I was getting used to it.

I nudged it open with my foot before scooping up the remains of my cell off the ground and dropping them into my bag. I was _not _looking forward to that conversation.

The entryway was dark – Mom had pulled all the drapes before she and Phil left. I didn't know why she bothered.

By the time my eyes adjusted to the dimness, it was too late. The door had already swung shut behind me, cutting off any hope of escape.

The burglar I'd interrupted dropped the DVD player he was holding and jerked around. For a moment we just stared at each other, then the animal look crept into his eyes. I recognized it – deadly, afraid, and cornered.

I started backing towards the door.

He scooped up his bag of valuables and sprinted past me, shoving me hard as he reached for the door. I crashed backwards into Mom's glass curio case, unable to break my fall. It was like I was suspended in time again, unable to move or protect myself. Being forced to watch every moment happen in slow motion.

I landed on the floor, my head smashing painfully against the wood. As the deadly shards of glass began raining down, I experienced a moment of clarity in the split second before I blacked out.

And I remembered.


	18. Chapter 18

**Els - thanks so much! What a compliment. (Blushes).**

**This chapter is dedicated to my reviewers, with a special hats off to Phoenixhp5t3. Your reviews are ALWAYS COOL!**

**And to everyone who's ever reviewed one of my stories, I owe you chocolate-covered donuts with sprinkles on top. I promise to pay up. Someday.**

* * *

The voices – that's the first thing I became aware of.

One of them sounded vaguely familiar…I finally placed it. Officer Mark Ridges, the man from the hospital.

"She must have walked in on him, call 911," he ordered tersely, and someone lifted me off the floor.

"Isabella, can you hear me?"

I fought to open my eyes. "Edward," I moaned.

"It's Officer Ridges, remember me? Can you open your eyes?"

Blearily I lifted one eyelid. "Isabella, the paramedics are on their way. Just lie still, okay?"

"Edward," I whispered, and let the darkness claim me once again.

**Edward's POV:**

I stuffed the last shirt into my suitcase and zipped it before turned to face my family.

"I'm going to Denali," I announced, calmly but firmly. "I need some time alone."

Esme's face was crestfallen but understanding. Rosalie's was expressionless. Jasper had his hands full trying to control the emotional atmosphere. Alice was silent and still. And Emmett looked like a kid who'd just lost his best friend.

Carlisle was the first one to speak. "We'll miss you, son, but you'll be back in a few weeks?"

I heard the question in his voice. "Yes, don't worry, this is only temporary. I just have to get away from all the reminders of…of her."

Esme gave me a quick hug. "We love you, Edward," she whispered. I read between the lines – _Come back home, don't stay away forever._

I walked outside and threw my luggage into my Volvo, waving goodbye to the family members clustered on the porch. A vacation. That was all I needed – it would help gain fresh perspective so I could get started on the impossible task of surviving the rest of my existence.

At least, that's what I told myself.

**Bella's POV:  
**

It was like waking up from a long sleep, when you didn't realize you'd dozed off in the first place.

I didn't remember much of what happened after Officer Ridges found me at the house. It was all a blur of pain and sirens and blue flashes.

No, my new awakening mostly took place in the hospital. When I opened my eyes, Mom was sitting right there, holding my hand.

"Oh, honey, you're awake," she nearly sobbed, leaning over to kiss my head. I could see Phil asleep on the sofa near the window.

Momentarily confused, I just stared at her. I had walked in on a burglar, he'd pushed me into a glass cabinet…

Suddenly I gasped. "Mom," I said fuzzily, "I remember everything. Forks, Dad, the Cullens, everything."

She was literally shocked speechless.

"Isabella," she finally got out.

I frowned, a little out of it from the pain medication. "Mom," I said, "you know I hate that name."

The tears started running down her face as she found my hand under the sheets and squeezed it. "Welcome back, Bella Swan," she smiled. "Welcome back."

Officer Ridges came by that evening to take my statement. I was itching to get out of bed and run straight back to Forks. I'd told Mom not to call anyone, just get me the earliest flight back. I wanted to surprise them.

She'd run her hand down my cheek. "I'm going to miss you," she said, and I felt guilty immediately. "But," she continued, "you belong in that life. You belong with him. And I understand, honey."

She'd left and taken Phil with her, and a few minutes later Officer Ridges came in.

"Hello, Isabella, you're looking better."

I smiled, not forgetting our first meeting. "Please, call me Bella."

He frowned a little in confusion.

"I want to apologize to you," I went on, "for what I said to you, for what I did. Because that wasn't me."

I smiled at the look on his face, and told my story – not excluding the fact that I had a fiancé waiting for me back in Washington.

"I guess I should be disappointed, Bella," he said, "because I was going to take you out for coffee after I finished taking your statement."

"In another life, I would have said yes," I told him, seeing the regret on his face.

He sighed and opened his notebook.

**Bella's POV:**

"Normally, I'd keep you another night," the doctor said, peering at me over the top of his glasses. "But I think you'll be fine – just make sure you keep the cuts clean and change the bandage every so often. And if you experience any nausea or dizziness, come back immediately. You have a small concussion."

Bulky bandages covered my forearms. When I'd thrown my arms up to protect my face, the glass had sliced several places. Nothing was too deep, but it was sure starting to hurt.

"My fiancé's father is a doctor," I said, "I think I'll be fine."

Mom and I shared a smile.

We went straight to the airport. At my request, Mom had packed my things for me. I was horrified as I remembered what I'd done to my Jane Austen collection. I would have to replace them as quickly as possible.

I told Phil goodbye first. He really was a great guy. He was good for Mom.

He backed away to give us some privacy, and I turned to Renee.

"I'm going to miss you," she blubbered, and I gave her a hug.

"I'm sorry I was such a brat, Mom," I told her, feeling a new wave of regret for my behavior as Isabella. God, was that even possible? How could I have become such a different person?

"I forgave you a long time ago," she assured me. "Besides, it was good for me. It made me grow up and be the parent, for a change."

Startled, I searched her wide, childlike eyes, and found something there I never had before – maturity.

I smiled. Mom would be just fine.

"I love you," she called, as I walked through the gate.

I tried to watch a movie on the plane, read a book, anything to make the time move faster. The flight was achingly slow. I was busy envisioning their faces when I showed up.

I wondered, absently, if Alice could see me. I would probably know when I got to the Seattle airport.

But when I climbed off the plane, no one was waiting for me. I tried to call Charlie – I figured he could give me a ride – but his voice mail said he would be gone until Tuesday on "official cop business". Translation: I'm fishing with Billy, don't bother me.

I flagged down a taxi, giving him the Cullen's address. It would cost me but I didn't care – I didn't have a choice anyway.

My restlessness and excitement grew as the miles dragged by. I couldn't wait…I missed them all so much. I had so much to make up for.

What disturbed me was, how could I forget the most important people in my life so easily? Just walk away without a second thought? _Poor Edward, _I mourned, _what he must be going through._

When we finally turned into the Cullens' driveway, I sat there for a second, drinking in the sight of the big house. The missing them was a physical ache, bringing a lump to my throat.

I paid the driver, adding a generous tip, before getting out. As he drove away, I walked towards the house.

I knew they could hear me approach; no doubt they were wondering what was going on, how to handle this. As I started up the porch, Carlisle came outside, looking at me carefully. "Isabella, what a surprise," he said, and I could hear the barely concealed sadness in his voice.

I rolled my eyes dramatically. "When are you people going to learn? I _hate _that name."

Before I could move one step farther he was hugging me, burying his face in my hair and telling me how much he'd missed me. Suddenly the whole family was out on the porch, stroking my hair, patting my back, all talking at once.

"Little sis!" Emmett boomed, and suddenly I found myself squashed against his massive chest, feet dangling off the ground.

"_Can't…breathe," _I choked, and he abruptly dropped me. "Oops," he said, grinning sheepishly at me as I stumbled backward into Esme. Her hands flashed out automatically to steady me, and I sucked in a breath as they came in contact with my bandaged arms.

She let go instantly, and Carlisle shooed everyone back a few steps. "Are you hurt? What happened?" he asked, already inspecting the bandages. His cool hands felt heavenly and I didn't hesitate to tell him to keep them on there.

"Now that," I said, "is a very long story. But where's Edward?" I suddenly realized he wasn't there.

Everyone suddenly went quiet. "He's in Denali," Alice volunteered.

My eyes narrowed. Tanya had had her eye on Edward for years. What if, now that I was out of the picture, he'd run straight to her?

"It's not like that," Jasper assured me, obviously feeling my emotions. "Don't worry, Bella. As soon as we call him he'll be here. He's been in depression since the accident. He loves you with everything he has."

I nodded, not entirely convinced. Rosalie huffed in disgust and stomped inside, no doubt cursing her bad luck at having me come back.

Emmett shot me an apologetic glance and followed his mate. I could hear him trying to talk some sense into her.

An awkward silence surrounded us, then Carlisle put his arm around me gently.

"Come inside, Bella, I want to look at your arms, then you can tell me everything."

"I'll make you some hot chocolate!" Esme volunteered gleefully.

She rushed off to the kitchen, and I let her go, knowing it made her happy.

Alice came with Carlisle as he helped me into a chair in his study, hovering over me closely.

"Alice, you might want to leave the room," I warned her, as Carlisle started unwrapped the bandages.

"I'm okay," she insisted, and sure enough her eyes were a mellow amber. Jasper's were, too, but he wasn't taking any chances – he leaned on the doorjamb and watched, not breathing.

I averted my eyes, watching Carlisle's face instead. Lots of things might have changed – but my reaction to blood wasn't one of them.

I saw him wince slightly as he perused my latest collection of injuries. "Bella, how did you mange this?"

He pulled out a cotton ball and doused it in alcohol. I launched into my story, concentrating hard on it to keep my mind off of what Carlisle was doing.

It stung, though. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "there, almost done. And then what happened?"

I told of how the thief had shoved me into the cabinet and I remembered just before I blacked out. "The shock, probably," he theorized, cleaning away his tools.

He crossed his arms and smiled at me, "I have to say I'm grateful to whoever it was, because he brought you back."

I noticed that Alice had been unusually quiet – Carlisle must have had the same thought because we both looked over at her at the same time.

She had that blank look on her face that she got when she was having a vision.

"Edward's coming back early," she announced, blinking as she came out of it. "He'll be here in an hour."


	19. Chapter 19

**Alice's POV: My Sister, My Friend  
**

After Carlisle finished doctoring Bella, I grabbed her hand and pulled her up to my room. "You have to be perfect for Edward," I told her sternly, expecting an argument as I sat her down in front of the mirror.

Instead she met my eyes in the reflection, a sad smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. "I missed you, Alice."

I hugged her hard, refusing to allow myself to remember when I'd thought she was gone forever. That was over now. But I still couldn't see her future, and that worried me.

"I missed you too," I told her, and picked up my brush. "Now let's make you beautiful."

After doing her hair, I told her to close her eyes. She sighed dramatically and did. "Remember, Alice, I trust you," she told me dryly.

Skipping to my closet, I chewed on my lip, in deep thought. Now what…?  
In the midst of my internal debate a vision hit me.

A smile spread across my face – dilemma solved. Both of them. Not only could I see Bella's future again, I knew exactly what she should wear.

**Rosalie's POV:**

I could hear them laughing as I climbed the stairs.

I had never understood the bond they shared, and I probably never would. It was unfair. Not only was Bella making a stupid choice, throwing away everything, she was stealing my sister as well. Jealousy spiked through me, freezing my feet to the floor.

"You're wrong, you know."

It was impossible to sneak up on a vampire, so Jasper's voice didn't surprise me – but his words did.

"How am I wrong?" I bit out caustically.

"Bella's not out to steal your family. She loves you."

I snorted out a laugh. "Ha."

A slight tinge of anger crept into his voice. "It's true. I can read emotions, remember?"

I was about to butt in but he didn't let me. Suddenly a wave of worry, fear, and above all unconditional love hit me so hard I staggered.

He looked at me smugly. "That, Rosalie, is what Bella feels whenever you're around her. Worry that you hate her. Fear that she'll never be qualified to be called your sister. And she loves you anyway."

"That's – " I cut myself off before I could finish.

"Ridiculous, I know," Jasper finished for me. "But guess whose fault that is?"  
"She's got what I never did – a choice. _And she's choosing wrong. _I'm just trying to help her see that!"

I wondered if that sounded as lame to him as it did to me – and judging by his snort, yes.

"It don't think that's it at all, Rosalie. You're forgetting again…I can read emotions. Think about that."

He disappeared, leaving me stewing. I was angry, yes, but mostly because…he was right.

I took another step towards Alice's room – another burst of laughter trickled out.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I took another step, and then another, until I was standing right outside Alice's door.

She answered my knock, looking surprised. "Rose, what's up?"

"I…um…"

Her eyes glazed over. The vision didn't last long, less than a minute, and when she snapped out of it she looked extremely satisfied. "Come in, Rose, of course you can talk to Bella."

I blinked at her. "Okay."

Looking over the top of her shoulder, I could see Bella standing in the center of the room, eyeing me apprehensively.

"I'll leave you two to it, then," my pixie sister said, and slipped outside, closing the door behind her.

Alice had obviously been playing Bella Barbie again, judging from the soft blue dress she was wearing. It was simple and hung to her knees, but pretty and expensive enough to meet Alice's standards. Dressy black sandals were perfect with the outfit – Alice had outdone herself again.

I realized I was staring when Bella shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry. Bella, I…Do you want me to do your hair?"

Okay, that was weird. I normally didn't chicken out of anything, but this was really hard.

She smiled nervously. "Alice already did it. But thanks," she added quickly.

I sighed.

"Bella, I haven't been very nice to you."

"I don't blame you, Rose."

"You should," I said, a little harshly. She flinched, and I softened my voice, determined not to alienate her any more than necessary. "I've been a witch. I told myself it was for your good, that if I could convince you to live a normal human life, with everything I didn't have…it would be as close as I would ever be. But I was lying to myself."

I turned, unable to look her in the eye. Whatever love she held for me would undoubtedly die an abrupt death with my next words. "The truth, Bella, is that I was jealous…but not just of your choice. I was jealous of the immediate connection you had with my family. In a few months you grew closer to them than I've been able to in decades. Now I understand that was mostly my fault. But it didn't change the way I feel."  
I waited for her to order me to get out. But the next thing I felt was her thin arms sliding around my waist. "It's okay, Rose, I understand."

I turned and hugged her back. "I'll never understand what makes you tick, Bella Swan. Can you ever forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," she whispered. "You're my sister – and I love you."

"Don't you dare mess up her hair!" Alice yelled through the door.

We looked at each other and laughed. The mood was broken…but the bonds were permanent.

**Edward's POV:**

What a mistake. I should never have gone to Denali. If I'd been thinking clearly, I would have never left Forks.

The speedometer read 110, and I forced the car even faster, trying to expel some of my anger. Tanya had apparently never gotten over her crush on me. Even after we'd sent them a wedding invitation, she hadn't given up. And now that Bella was out of the picture, her flirtations had increased by a 100 percent. The thoughts in her head…I forced myself to release my grip on the steering wheel before I crushed it.

It seemed like a blot on my precious Bella's memory to even be around Tanya. It was…desecrating everything we'd shared.

So I'd decided to head back to Forks before I ripped her apart and burned the pieces.

As I drew closer to the house, I automatically tuned in to my family's thoughts. But…they were all blocking me out?

Carlisle was reciting the alphabet in Portuguese. Esme was singing a Lewis Miller song over…and over…and over.

Alice was thinking extremely hard about a sale in Dilliards, and everything she was going to buy. Jasper was dissecting Civil War strategies and thinking about how he could've done them better.

And Emmett was thinking about…Ew. Oh God no. Quickly, I tuned his mind out. Judging from the content, I shouldn't even get _near _Rosalie.

What were they hiding from me? Alice must have seen me coming…so what was the deal?

I parked the Volvo and got out, not bothering with my suitcase. I jumped onto the porch, not bothering with the steps. A volley of whispers greeted me at the door, and I narrowed my eyes.

"All right, what's going on?"

Suddenly I heard…a heartbeat.

And a scent that set my throat and my heart on fire.

That fact barely registered in my brain before _she _stepped into my line of sight.

The pain that ripped through me at the sight of her nearly brought me to my knees. It was hard enough knowing I couldn't have her, but to be so close to her…and yet so very far…

She smiled, and for a moment I could almost believe it was her again.

"Hello, Edward," she said, "You didn't let them give away my room, did you?"

Her words caught me by surprise, but when they sank in I finally realized the truth.

By some miracle Bella had come back to me.

"Bella," I breathed, gathering her up in my arms. I buried my face in her hair, drinking her in. "Bella."

Her lips found mine, and we only came up for air when Emmett said excitedly, "Man, does this mean me and Rose can do this in public now?"

"NO!" we all shouted at the same time, and Rose smacked him upside the head.

I turned back to Bella. "How did…?"  
"That's a long story, I'll tell you sometime," she teased. "So what about my room?"

I reached into my pocket. "I'll do you one better."

I got down on one knee, aware of everyone's eyes on us. Bella blushed deeply, and I chuckled. "Bella Swan, would you do me the extraordinary honor of agreeing to marry me…again?"

She didn't even argue as I slipped the ring back into its rightful place. "Yes, Edward Cullen, I will marry you."

**I don't know if I'm entirely satisfied with the ending...if you think I should rewrite it, let me know in the reviews, please! And there's an epilogue coming. :)**


	20. Epilogue

**Well, here it is – the big finale. *****Sniff***** I'm sorry, I was kind of attached…oh well, finishing this one means I can get started on the next one!**

**Let me know what you think please! **

**Bella's POV:**

"Okay, Jasper, go out for the long one," Emmett said, drawing back his arm. The poor defenseless football didn't stand a chance. Before he could throw it, he squeezed a little too hard and it crumbled into dust.

"Dang, that was the last one," Jasper yelled from nearly half a mile away.

Emmett's shoulders slumped…and suddenly a wicked gleam lit his eyes. "Hey Bella, c'mere."

I was sitting with Esme, Alice, and Rosalie on the porch, watching the game of catch. Carlisle and Edward were doing something inside – I'd finally convinced him I would be fine alone for a few minutes.

"What's up, Emmett?" I asked cheerfully, hopping over the railing and going over. I figured he wanted to send me to town for a few new footballs since it was sunny out.

The next thing I knew, I was tucked against his massive chest, legs dangling off the ground, like a…like a…

Football.

"Emmett!" I howled.

"Don't worry," he winked down at me. "Catch Jasper!"

I found myself flying through the air. Before I could freak out, I landed safely in Jasper's stone arms. "No worries, Bella, we won't hurt you."

"Are you insane?" Edward stormed out of the house, followed closely by Carlisle. "You could have dropped her!"

Jasper lowered me to my feet while Emmett looked sheepish. "We were just having fun, bro," he said, looking over at me guiltily. "Right, Bella?"

I shot Edward a look that said _back off. _"If I need you to rescue me, I'll ask for it," I told him sternly. "Emmett and Jasper would _never _hurt me."

"Tell him, little sis!" Emmett crowed. In the next instant he scooped me back up and the game resumed.

I caught Edward's eye, hoping he knew I wasn't mad at him – and hoping he wasn't mad at me. But even though he still looked a little anxious, he mouthed, _I'm sorry._

I saw Alice whisper something in his ear, and he smiled.

After the game of footbella, I was laughing so hard Emmett had to drag me up to the porch. Jasper had this big goofy grin on his face – probably a result of all the happy emotions.

I collapsed into Edward's lap as Emmett and Jasper fell over on the porch, still laughing.

I smiled at their antics, thinking of all the good things that had come out of what had seemed to be a tragedy. In the three months since I'd come home, I'd started realizing how much better our lives were because of it.

Edward wasn't as protective, allowing me to be myself and go places without him freaking out. I think he finally realized that no matter what, there were some things he couldn't protect me from, and that he was smothering me trying to anyway.

Jacob had finally gotten over me, it seemed – he'd finally imprinted on a sweet girl named Aubrey. She was all he talked about these days. And that helped his and Edward's relationship out a lot, they were actually pretty close to being friends now.

Mom had been forced to actually grow up and parent me for a change – and while I definitely regretted having been such a horrible witch, it had been a learning experience for her.

I wrote to Lindsay and talked to her on the phone every once in a while; physical therapy was going great. She forgave me freely, and her letters were a reminder of a lesson I would never forget.

And best of all Charlie had accepted Edward – the two had even had some 'male bonding time' as Charlie had called it. He hadn't even fussed about the new wedding date, just a month away. That was a huge load off my shoulders.

"What are you thinking, love?" he murmured in my ear.

"Lots of things," I smiled. I'd tell him soon, but not here, and not now.

Emmett winked at me, and I sincerely hoped they didn't plan on making a habit out of their new game. It had been fun but it was a little nerve-wracking, as both of them could get into it and forget I was not indestructible.

That was another relationship that had evolved – the one I had forged with my siblings. Rose and I would never be as close as I was to Alice, but we were well on the way to being good friends. And Jasper wasn't as afraid to be around me – we'd been working on his control.

As for Emmett…well, he might be goofy, but when it came down to it, there was no better big brother to be found.

And on my dresser, a two-foot-tall bear with milk chocolate fur and a blue ribbon holds the place of honor.


End file.
